I haven’t gone into the hospital yet to start chemo. I have been tolerating my not-chemotherapy pretty well. It’s good to have a hearty appetite,  go for long walks, sleep in my own bed, and check off items on my infinite to- do list list.  Calling in each day to find out where I will be sleeping, is not so much fun, but each day’s reprieve, makes me grateful for the small pleasures I often take for granted.

Now that too is changing. I just got a call and I’m  scheduled to go into the hospital tonight. The therapeutic denial that has gotten me through the last few days is crumbling. I really am going to start chemo and I’m not looking forward to it.

Last Wednesday, the first charge nurse I spoke to was apologetic about the waiting list for admission. She actually said, ‘ Think of it as waiting for a reservation at a fabulous restaurant.’ We both laughed, but I don’t think we were laughing about the same thing.